Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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