mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize