and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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