i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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