Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do vagina's smell?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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