You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
