well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
