"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Come on in and take your pants off
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