you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
