So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
