i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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