There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
