Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I need to align my fucking chakras
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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