she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
