how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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