Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
