Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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