shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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