Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
