I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
