the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.