You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???