There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
