i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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