Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
