So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
A+ Viking dick
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
