i permit you to call me
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
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