and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize