is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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