is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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