Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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