I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
