mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize