Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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