Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
