Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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