I accidentally had phone sex last night
I bet he comes in French.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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