and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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