When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
