I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
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Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
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Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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