Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
honey bunches of taint.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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