We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
