At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
