Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
