Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
