I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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