just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize