In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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