I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We got so high we made milksteak
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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