I think im going to throw up on grandma
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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