i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
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My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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