Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize