We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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