I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
