Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize