one might say we're banned from that church
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
