yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
