'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
