i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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