I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
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Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
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as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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