whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
