made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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