clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
