So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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