You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
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dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
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You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I pour the whiskey from now on
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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