ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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